Not too long ago, I was cheated on and lied to by someone I deeply cared for. This was a devastating and somewhat traumatizing experience. As expected, my broken heart went through the 5, agonizing stages of grief. It was extremely difficult. But I can confidently say I made it to the other side and I’m feeling better than ever.
I've truly accepted my situation. Actually, I thank my lucky stars everyday it happened at all. Had I not gone through what I did, I wouldn’t be living the amazing life I am right now.
Look. I’ve found gratitude and acceptance amidst pain and betrayal. But that doesn’t mean the case is closed. The final step to ‘getting over’ and ‘moving on’ is...forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a toughie. The biggest misconception about forgiveness is that it’s for them. Truth is, when you choose to forgive, you make that decision for yourself.
And when you’re ready to clear the air from your consciousness, it doesn’t mean you have to be friends with, much less communicate with the person you’re forgiving. You don’t have to tell them you forgave them. And you definitely don’t have to trust them.
It does mean you want to let go of what’s no longer serving you. And you commit to releasing the old so you can make room for the new. Forgiveness is actually an act of self-love.
Holding grudges hurts you more than your offender. The person who wronged you might not even care how you feel. Chances are they’ve blocked it out of their mind. You’re the one still worried about it. And all that negative energy towards the past can and will continue to build up causing physical, mental and emotional health issues if you neglect to do anything about it.
That’s why I encourage practicing forgiveness every single day. Make it part of your meditation practice. Simply imagine the person you want to forgive and send them a message of forgiveness. In fact, you can do this exercise right now.
Let go of the narrative. Do it for your own sake. Forgiveness doesn’t right wrongs. Rather, it heals your heart so you can open it once again. It allows you to move on from a place of love instead of fighting forward from a place of fear.
Who or what do you need to forgive?
Remember: Forgiveness is for you, not for them.